Suicide Watch

Ambition

2008-05-25T19:54:40Z

I have made it a point to make as many smart moves as I can when it comes to life-altering decisions. Usually in the direction of more money or easier work. Whichever makes more sense at the time. I'm on the cusp of a move that matches neither of those criteria. On top of that I will have to start caring about my appearance.

I'm trepidatious. The only reason I can even attempt this is because my husband supports me in every way. And that makes me want to succeed all the more. If I am able to do this, I might just find a satisfying career. If I fail, then I will be pretty much unemployed. I have been provided will a good starting foundation and I just hope my personality flaws don't bite me in the ass.

So, if you know of any artists or studios that need live models then let me know. If you have any good will to send my way it would be greatly appreciated. And I think I need to get some business cards made up, so any ideas for that are welcomed.

Wedding invites...

2007-12-13T04:11:27Z

I'm still making my wedding reception guest-list. This is harder than I thought, so if you wanna be invited to the free food and booze event then send me your address or however you want me to contact you. Everyone I have ever known, real or fictional, is invited. I just need to know that you are coming. =)

The wedding will be in Vegas, but I have arranged for it to be broadcast on the internet. So if you are interest in watching then make plans to be connected to the internet at 7:00pm CST. Tune in to http://www.littlechapel.com/ and click on "Guests". It should be pretty self-explanatory from there.

Okay... I'm getting a little nervous about this whole thing. I might need to be talked down from a tall building before it's over.

Beloit College Mindset List: Sorry for the lack of formatting

2006-08-24T19:54:28Z

BELOIT COLLEGE'S MINDSET LIST®

FOR THE CLASS OF 2010

Members of the class of 2010, entering college this fall, were mostly born in 1988. For them: Billy Carter, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Billy Martin, Andy Gibb, and Secretariat have always been dead.

1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.
5. They have grown up getting lost in "big boxes."
6. There has always been only one Germany.
7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.
8. They are wireless, yet always connected.
9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents'.
10. Thanks to pervasive headphones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.
11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.
12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.
13. Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.
14. The Moral Majority has never needed an organization.
15. They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals baseball and football teams.
16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
17. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.
18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.
19. "Google" has always been a verb.
20. Text messaging is their email.
21. Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.
23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
24. Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.
25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.
26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.
27. There has never been a "skyhook" in the NBA.
28. Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
29. Computerized player pianos have always been tinkling in the lobby.
30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest growing religious organizations in the U.S.
31. They grew up in mini-vans.
32. Reality shows have always been on television.
33. They have no idea why we needed to ask "...can we all get along?"
34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."
35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.
36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
37. Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.
38. Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.
39. "So" as in "Sooooo New York," has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies something else
40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television series.
41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.
42. Ken Burns has always been producing very long documentaries on PBS.
43. They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to do with birds flying into it.
44. Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.
45. Green tea has always been marketed for health purposes.
46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor school newspapers.
47. Small white holiday lights have always been in style.
48. Most of them never had the chance to eat bad airline food.
49. They have always been searching for "Waldo."
50. The really rich have regularly expressed exuberance with outlandish birthday parties.
51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.
52. They never played the game of state license plates in the car.
53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.
54. There have always been live organ donors.
55. They have always had access to their own credit cards.
56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."
57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.
58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.
59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
60. They never saw Bernard Shaw on CNN.
61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
62. Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.
63. Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.
64. LoJack transmitters have always been finding lost cars.
65. Diane Sawyer has always been live in Prime Time.
66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.
67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.
68. "Outing" has always been a threat.
69. Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss has always been the perfect graduation gift.
70. They have always "dissed" what they don't like.
71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.
73. They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.
74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

Lucas Hancock

2006-06-14T23:18:54Z

For those of you who know how important this is....

Allison had her baby boy today!

At 14:41 today Mr and Mrs John Hancock welcomed their son into the world. His name is Lucas. Everyone is healthy and happy, though quite tired. This is actual proof that dreams do come true.

Another glorious news day for Memphis, TN

2006-06-07T17:17:07Z

Man Stuck in Mud for More Than a Day Saved

Watching the National Spelling Bee

2006-06-02T01:35:55Z

Heiligenschein

I like that one.

A little help?

2006-05-29T04:39:20Z

What is the next number in this sequence?

22272
24742
25862766
2674

Redundant for some

2006-04-28T16:20:07Z

I now feel comfortable making an official announcement:

Party at my house on MAY 13th!

I'll get more details together later, but so far I can confirm the presence of Jello shots, a patio, and I will be accepting housewarming liquor. It's also Dave's birthday, so we can celebrate for him too, if there's time. ;-)

Plan for it, because it'll be a blast.

Things that will be important

2006-04-25T14:13:56Z

Two new stories today that you should pay attention to...

One affects the world - Turning Dirty Coal Into Clean Energy

And the other affects you personally - Judge Rules on Legality of Web Surfing at Work

In other news, I personally find this one interesting...

Police Entry Case Heard in Supreme Court

and just for shits and giggles... I originally heard about this on the Drake and Zeke show, except they scoffed at his business idea. Apparently it wasn't just funny, it's also successful:

Living in the 'Star Trek' Universe -- For Real: Tony Alleyne loved the Star Trek universe so much, he wanted to live in it. So after a bitter breakup, he remodeled his condominium to look like the inside of the Starship Enterprise.

Things that are more interesting than you

2006-04-19T20:27:37Z

I would kill for this type of abberation: Woman's Long-Term Memory Astonishes Scientists

And I would get killed in this sport: Chess-Boxing Combines Brawn and Brains in One Event
- what will those crazy Germans think of next!

Stolen from eclectic_spirit

2006-04-19T16:20:35Z

You scored as Alexander the Great. Strong, likeable, energetic, good looking- you are the very image of youth. You set out to conquer the world, and in a very 4th century BC sense, you did. Within four years you shattered the Achaemenid empire. You liked to celebrate your victories with excessive eating and partying. But, only the good die young- you died in your thirties, at the prime of your empire.

To learn more about Alexander, click here: Alexander the Great on the web

</td>

Alexander the Great

83%

Hammurabi

75%

Ashoka Maurya

75%

Liu Bang

75%

Chandragupta Maurya

67%

Darius

67%

Wang Mang

58%

Sargon of Akkad

58%

Cyrus

50%

Xerxes

50%

Han Wudi

42%

Yu of China

33%

Qin Shihuangdi

25%

Maodun

25%

What leader of ancient/classical history are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Nascar is unpatriotic

2006-04-18T22:53:24Z

I want to know how many gallons of fuel are used during just one Nascar race. Then I want to see the statistical difference freeing that fuel up would make for gas prices across the country. Then I want to see a national poll of who would rather have cheaper gas in place of a Nascar season. I would hazard a guess that even with Nascar being the most spectated American sport, those of us with good sense would win out.

It has everything, and makes me want to cry

2006-04-16T04:23:40Z

Bambi is the greatest movie ever made.

Why don't you have this feed?

2006-04-14T17:51:50Z

Stories like this make me giggle. Now if only we can get the WWE involved for a MiniKiss v Tiny Kiss smackdown!

I almost forgot

2006-04-01T19:32:07Z

I got my Bioform bra in the mail. I wore it out last night. It's fucking awesome. If you have big ole' titties like me then you totally have to check it out.

If still waters run deep...

2006-04-01T04:52:50Z

then what of choppy waters?

Do you agree with this sentiment?

2006-03-21T22:24:40Z

No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by work.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

Spotters fee goes to kitiara

2006-03-11T17:52:33Z

I have just been informed that Slobodan Milosevic is dead. Seems like a lackluster ending. I guess in the end it's all really just death after all.

Haha... lawyer joke on Scrubs

2006-03-08T02:09:28Z

Ted doesn't know what leverage means.

Vicarious vacation

2006-03-03T16:55:51Z

Was that my imagination, or did I just smell the ocean.

Dead of Winter

2006-02-25T19:45:29Z

I just thought about Eight Below again.

Further proof of the heirarchy

2006-02-25T17:47:59Z

I think when I kiss my cat on the nose she makes that face because she's thinking, "Ew, she kissed me." That's what I think when my dog licks me anyway.

It must be true, I read it on the internet.

2006-02-14T02:14:20Z

<td align="center"> Mary --
[adjective]:

Sexually stunning

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Thanks magdellena

However, my full name <td align="center"> Mary Rochelle --
[noun]:

A human transformer (Robot in disguise)

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

So I must be a femme-bot or something.

out of 7092 songs

2006-02-11T07:21:04Z

Put your iPod/computer/CD player, or whatever the hell it is on which you listen to music, on shuffle and write out the 1st 10 songs that come up.

1. "Martha My Dear" by The Beatles
2. "Mary of Silence" by Mazzy Star
3. "Self Evident"by Ani DiFranco
4. "The Moth" by Aimee Mann
5. "Fall Out" by The Police
6. "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure
7. "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton
8. "Britten" from The Young Person's Guide To Orchestra by Leonard Bernstein and the New York Philharmonic
9. "The Ballad of Naked Man" by The Butthole Surfers
10. "Tonight" by Elton John

Trust me, I can't make this shit up.

Happy Snow Day

2006-02-11T02:05:59Z

Okay, I know some people try to ignore it, but a snow day in the South is an unofficial holiday. I just wanted to a quick poll of people's general reactions, Southern or not.

View Poll: Winter Wonder